Sick Days
by Totally Anime
Summary: Sasuke's sick. Sakura's sick. Naruto's sick. Sai is... not. Well that's just not fair! Sasuke seems to think so anyway. Find out how Sasuke's plan to get Sai sick backfires and just how "scarred" he'll be afterward. SaixSasu Oneshot


TA: So, yes, this was produced from out of nowhere. Well, not completely. Monkey and I have recently been... interested, I guess you could say with this pairing and aside from Akuroku, this is currently the only other pairing that I can seem to come up with ideas for. Strange, isn't it? Since I hate Sasuke... Well, maybe it's not so strange after all...

**take note, this story doesn't follow the storyline, hence the reason why Sasuke's with them and they're not all trying to kill each other mentally and physically.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Sick Days**

**Oneshot**

Naruto sneezed. Sakura coughed. Kakashi sniffled. It was winter. They knew it all too well. They recognized the symptoms-the fever, the cold, the cough, the torture of the season. Now if only they could curse the world into oblivion, then their headaches might go away... or just give them a bigger one. Better not to chance it then.

But, there was a lucky... or should I say hateful shinobi that wasn't caught up in the burdens of winter. And of course, it had to be...

"Why the hell aren't you sick, Sai?" Naruto cursed, his words coming out slurred and somewhat off as he tried to speak through his stuffy nose. He sniffed. And sniffed again. And again and again until he gave up and blew his nose into a sacrificial tissue.

Sai leaned away with a look of caution, avoiding Naruto's oncoming sneeze of germs and snot. "Perhaps it's because I am not as careless." Sai sat upright as he flipped through the pages of a book he had picked up the day before. He gave Naruto a glance before shaking his head. With a soft shut of his book, he stood up saying, "I think it would be best if I retire for the evening."

Sakura growled in irritation as she sniffed, followed up with a hoarse cough. "What, afraid of a few germs, Sai?"

He gave her smile. "Not afraid. Just worried that if everyone is ill, then we would be far more useless than we already are to this village."

The pink-haired girl's eye twitched, but just as she opened her mouth to shout some witty comeback, a cough lodged itself between her voice and her comment, stirring up a new hacking cough into the room.

"Just leave him, Sakura." Kakashi waved Sai off as he laid himself down on the couch, his vest sprawled out on top of his face to shield his eyes from the light above. Although he was comfortably by the fire, he still couldn't help a sniffle here or there, but alas, those was the troubles of coming to a village struck with a blizzard. "He's got a point and you know it."

It was an understatement to say that it was already hit with a blizzard once. It was like this town was hit by a blizzard, a hurricane and a whirlwind of snow, given a few days of nice weather long enough for them to arrive, only to get hit by all three tenfold once again. Now they were stuck in a residential hotel with nothing to do except wait out the blizzard and recover from their illnesses.

"But Kakashi-ackhack-sen-ugh-sensei!" Sakura coughed out, but as she really thought about it, she shut up and set about to grumble in her little chair, cuddling herself into the blanket. "Tch. Even Sasuke-kun got sick..."

By this point, Sai had already left for his room, ignoring everyone behind him.

Now, where was Sasuke? Well, Sasuke, refusing to admit that he was sick like the other members of his team decided to walk out into the blizzard/storm/thing attacking the village to pick up some supplies from the nearest shop trying to act like it was the middle of summer.

What an imbecile.

The door burst open with a frozen Sasuke dashing inside and ramming the door shut though the wind dared him to leave it open. He cursed at least 20 times before he finally got the door to click and heaven knows that the only reason he could even muster the energy to close it was because he was so damn cold and in desperate need of undisturbed warmth.

Shaking miserably and nearly as white as Sai, Sasuke dropped onto the rug by the fire, trying to defrost his fingers.

"So did you get any medicine, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, amazingly formnig a sentence without resulting in a death cough.

Sasuke shook his head. "No, the shop-keeper couldn't hear me through the blizzard."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, no shit sherlock. Why'd you even have to try to show off by going out like that when you're clearly sick too?" The blonde scoffed, rubbing his hands by the fire all the while trying to avoid Sasuke's hands also.

The raven-haired boy didn't reply. Yeah, it was stupid. Yeah, it was for his ego. Yeah, he was even sicker than before, but y'know what? ...He didn't give a-

"Oh, Sasuke-kun's back?" came that irritatingly _healthy_ voice. "I thought I heard someone else. I thought it was someone worth...ehm... Did you get any medicine?"

Oohhhh boy, did that piss of Sasuke. What? What was that health freak going to say? "Someone worth" _what?_

"I _dare_ you to finish that." Sasuke seethed, trying not to let his runny nose keep his threat from sounding too stupid.

Sai blinked. "Finish what?" He tipped his head to the side and smiled. "What ever do you mean, Sasuke-kun?"

"'Someone worth' _what?"_ Sasuke asked,

Sai kept his smile. "Don't worry about it, Sasuke-kun." And he left.

**xxx**

The next morning, Sai woke up just as healthy as yesterday. The only difference was that he woke up beside Sakura... beside Naruto... wedged right in between them. Both of their faces toward him. Their mouth-breaths ventilating their germ-infested air in his direction, their bacteria spreading onto his bed, his clothes, _his skin_.

He almost wasn't sure if he should shove them off, scream, take a shower or draw on their faces. Hell, he was considering all of them.

Well, he did have to be considerate of the ill... Yes, considerate of the ill... considerate of the...

"NARUTO. GET YOUR ARM OFF MY WAIST AND YOUR SNOT-NOSED FACE OFF MY NECK." Sai smiled pleasantly as he twisted Naruto's wrist off his abdomen. "Thank you. Now please, explain to me why the two of you are in my room."

"OW! Owowowowwwww... -Oh, wait? This is _your_ room? Ahaha, sorry, we thought it was... uh... Sasuke's! Yeah! Ahahaha!" Naruto jumped onto his feet rather quickly for a sick person and grabbed Sakura, dragging her out-of-mind state out of the door. "Hey, Sakura, did you know this was Sai's room? Ahaha! I thought it was Sasuke's! Yeah! Ahaha! Sorry, Sai, BYE!"

Sai's face didn't show an expression, he just stared, not sure what to make of the situation, but before bothering to worry about those two, he had to something else first. He looked down at his exposed abdomen and touched where Naruto had touched with a frown. "I need a shower."

**xxx**

Sai walked into the kitchen, freshly washed, clean and healthy. "Good-."

ACHOO!

Sakura sneezed right in his face.

Sai wiped a few drops of her saliva off his face with the back of his hand. "...Morning..."

"Oh, hey, Sai!" Naruto ran over to him, waving some soiled tissue in his hand. "Sorry about this morning and all!" And, like some sort of freak accident, Naruto tripped on air (in an extremely fake way) and threw the wet tissue onto his face. "Oh! Woops! Sorry Sai!"

The tissue slid down the front part of Sai's face in the most disgusting of ways, leaving behind a sticky, wet trail. Sai pursed his lips and knew either Naruto was truly a dumbass or these two were up to something.

"Oh! Sai, are you okay? Here, let me help you!" Sakura offered, grabbing a clean tissue, wetting it and heading over to him, but just as she neared his face, she started coughing into both his face and the tissue meant to clean his face.

Said didn't move a muscle. The moment Sakura wants to help him from the goodness of her heart, then clearly something was amiss. "What are you two planning?" Sai muttered, peering at a very relaxed Sasuke sitting at the kitchen table drinking some kind of steaming hot liquid. The boy didn't seem to be paying any attention to the two as usual, but when it involved Sai...

When it involved Sai, Sasuke was usually the first to make some sort of remark, no matter the situation.

Sai pushed Sakura's bacteria-rag away from his face and sat beside Sasuke, taking a piece of bread while he was at it. "Good morning, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke didn't tear his eyes from his drink to look up at Sai, and instead closed his eyes calmly. "Morning."

Whatwhatwhaaaaat? Sasuke said 'MORNING'? He never said 'morning.' He always said, "You look horrible," or, "Wipe that smile off your face," or, "You're too pale," or, "Don't get paint on my clothes," or he'd look him up and down and twitch, "Is your dream to become a drag queen?" He never ever said 'morning'! Not even when he was in a good mood...

"...Morning." Sai repeated, a bit bewildered.

Sasuke looked up at him. "You already said that."

"...I know..."

The two stared at each other.

"Don't show expression on your face. You look horrible."

Ah, much better.

**xxx**

The next morning, Sai woke up Sakura-free, Naruto-free and (not like he was expecting it or anything) but also Sasuke-free. He could breathe the nice cold air. He could feel the warmth on his skin. He could hear his voice as perfectly as if he were in the shower. Yes, he was healthy.

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura sat at the breakfast table, each one muttering in utter disappointment the moment Sai walked in as healthy as the day before.

"What the hell kind of immune system does this guy have?" Sakura cursed, ripping her bread into two uneven pieces with merciless force.

Naruto scowled, "And I was so sure the tissue would do it! Ugh! It's your turn, Sasuke!"

"He's already found us out." Sasuke responded with a little less motivation, but irritated all the same. "He figured it out yesterday."

"Good morning." Sai greeted as he took his seat amongst his team members.

"Wipe that smile off your face," Sasuke grumbled in annoyance as he saw the perfectly not-sick smile on Sai's face.

"Of course, Sasuke-kun." He continued to smile anyway, and Sasuke swore his hatred for Sai grew double in size. That jerk.

Later that evening, Sai was reading a book by the fire, sitting comfortably on that same couch he had been reading on two nights ago. Sasuke took a seat beside him. He didn't look like he wanted to, but he needed to say something. Well, ask really.

"Hey Sai," Sasuke started and continued without waiting for his reply, "What does it take to get a person sick?"

Sai smiled. As he thought, Sasuke was the instigator. "Do you want a good answer or do you want a great answer?"

"...Can I have both?"

"A good answer is sharing their bacteria. Y'know, cough in their face, sneeze nearby, throw a used tissue on their face." Yes, he was mocking him. He knew it. Sasuke knew it. And God, was Sai loving it.

"So what's a great answer?" Sasuke asked curiously, fully aware that he practically being made fun of.

"You go past the boundary of physical contact and go directly to the source." Now, the question was: was Sai trying to get himself sick?

"What do you mean?"

"...Improvise." ...No, not really. It was more like...

"...'Improvise'..."

It was more like he was testing Sasuke.

Sasuke took the book from Sai's hands and pushed it down onto Sai's lap, preventing the boy from reading another word. With his other hand, he forced Sai to face him and pressed his lips against the other boy's, locking them into a deceitful kiss.

The three bystanders behind the couch were appauled. Sakura shrieked and passed out. Naruto and Kakashi were still in shock.

Sai didn't fight it and instead pulled Sasuke closer, surprising him and added fire into the kiss, making it more passionate. Sasuke shut his eyes in horror, unable to fight against Sai's grasp against him. Damn! If only he weren't sick... If only he... Holy shit! Was that Sai's tongue? Sasuke let out a groan, and by this point he couldn't tell if it was out of pleasure or horror.

Needless to say, Naruto passed out.

After what seemed like forever to Sasuke, he was let off by Sai, stumbling as he pushed himself from him. "What the hell was that, Sai?" Sasuke shrieked, sending himself into a fit of coughs.

Sai licked his lips. "Well, I figure... If you're willing to overcome the boundary to get me sick, then I can do the same to make you regret it." The pale boy walked over to Sasuke's defenseless position on the floor and towered over him, straddingly the boy's hips with his legs. "It's fair game, right, _Sasuke-kun?"_

Sasuke blushed several shades of red and turned his head to spare himself a small ounce of pride, only to be confronted with Kakashi's very interested face. "...Kakashi?"

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm too sick to read Icha Icha so watching you boys'll do just fine."

"I don't think that habit of yours is healthy, Kakashi-sensei." Sai pointed out flatly.

"Oh, yes, I know, but please, continue." Kakashi waved the warning in dismissal, turning the attention back to Sasuke.

Sai looked back down at Sasuke and then smirked. "No, I think I've scarred him enough for today." Sai pulled away from Sasuke and picked up his book from the couch, ready to head up to his room. "Ne, Sasuke-kun..."

Sasuke scowled, "What?"

"Get ready for another scar tomorrow."

**TA: Well, that's the end! Haha... If someone asked me, "Do you like Sasuke?" I could go both ways really. I don't like him because of all the obvious reasons, but I like him because he's one of the few characters that I can torture without feeling too bad about. XD Well, no, I don't feel bad about it at all. Thanks for reading! (And I'd really like a review too! X3)**

**...Oh, hey, y'know what? Now that I think about it... I think this is the first ever Naruto fic I have ever posted up on . o.O Strange, isn't it? XD  
**


End file.
